Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the
First Presbyterian Church of Yuma, AZ, says that the best prayer he ever heard
was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."
A Woman went to the Post Office to
buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What Denomination?" Asked the clerk. "Oh,
good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well give me 50 Baptist
and 50 Catholic ones."
On a very cold, snowy Sunday in
February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village church. The
pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer replied:
"Pastor, even if only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it."
I was at the beach with my children
when my four-year-old son ran up to me, grabbed my hand, and led me to the
shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand. "Mommy, what happened to him?" the
little boy asked. "He died and went to Heaven," I replied. My son thought a
moment and then said, "And God threw him back down?"
Bill Keane, creator of the Family
Circus cartoon strip tells of a time when he was penciling one of his cartoons
and his son Jeffy said, "Daddy, how do you know what to draw?" I said, "God
tells me." Jeffy said, "Then why do you keep erasing parts of it?"
After the church service, a little
boy told the pastor: "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well,
thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of
the poorest preachers we've ever had."
My wife invited some people to
dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would
you like to say the blessing?" I wouldn't know what to say," she replied. "Just
say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said. Our daughter bowed her head and
said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
